A new study from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine shows that more than a third of Americans prefer to "sleep divorce" their partners. This means they sleep in separate beds or rooms to improve their sleep. Even celebrities like Cameron Diaz and Carson Daly are doing this.

Why Sleep Apart?

Neil Stanley, coauthor of "A Sleep Divorce: How to Sleep Apart, Not Fall Apart," says, “We’ve been misled to think we should sleep together if we’re in a relationship.”

Sleeping separately helps avoid common problems like snoring, insomnia, different sleep schedules, and restlessness. These issues can affect sleep quality and cause relationship problems.

History of Separate Beds

In ancient Rome, couples had a special bed for intimacy but often slept separately. During the medieval period, people shared beds due to limited space and heat sources. Wealthier families had separate rooms.

In the Renaissance, couples started having private sleeping quarters. Separate bedrooms were common among royalty and the nobility. In the Victorian era, it became fashionable for couples to sleep together, but medical experts later recommended separate beds for health reasons.

Making Separate Sleeping Work

To make "sleep divorce" work, experts suggest personalizing your sleeping space. Use your preferred mattress, bedding, and decor to make it feel like your own room.

Modern Trends and Tips

Today, awareness of the importance of sleep for health is growing. Some couples find that sharing a bed strengthens their emotional connection, while others sleep better alone.

Sleep psychologist Dan Ford from the Better Sleep Clinic in New Zealand says there are many reasons for sleeping separately, like snoring or different sleep schedules.

A study from the University of Michigan found that sharing a bed can reduce sleep quality and strain relationships. Poor sleep can lead to more fights between couples.

Personal Stories

Tami Shadduck, a teacher from the United States, moved to another room because of her husband’s sleep apnea. She says, “Sleep is sleep, and intimacy isn’t built while you’re unconscious. Intimacy is created in many little moments while you are awake.”

Pros and Cons

Some couples report better sleep quality when sharing a bed due to a sense of security and comfort. Others find separate rooms improve their relationship. Marcella Hill from Utah said on TikTok, “It’s pretty sexy to be able to invite each other over. I think this should be the new norm.”

Neil Stanley says, “Sleeping separately has nothing to do with the strength of your relationship. It’s a normal thing to do. Sleep divorce isn’t a punishment; it’s doing the best for each other.”